Tony Lee Pwns Sheridan
I ate whipping cream out of a Student Union employee’s ass last night. I was supposed to be working the event, taking pictures of a performer.
Instead, I fell asleep in the heavy arms of a 200-lbs Chinese hypnotist, Tony Lee. For anyone who was in attendance last Tuesday night, you’ll now that I was one of the two photographers supposedly working the event. What you didn’t know is that I take a hypnotic sleep aid called Zoplicone.
I sleep soundly, and I gave Pepsi bottle oral that had been lodged between a stranger’s legs. These acts of perversion are rarity for me, and the power of public hypnotism is real. I found that I was moderately aware of what I was doing. Knowing that you are on stage and a crowd is screaming to see generally calm people do outrageous things will control you.
What is specifically powerful about the hypnotism side of things was that everything was emotional. At times I felt profound, and unintentional emotions would overcome me.
One of Tony Lee’s first entrances into Tuesday’s spell was inducing a public yawn. He told the group on stage, which at this point I wasn’t a part of, to yawn. Within moments at least 100 people in the audience were yawning. Contagious yawns are public and a very real studied phenomenon, using that to enter the public to believe into what Tony was doing was calculating and effective.
While I began to remember mooning the audience bare assed and easily because I didn’t have underwear on, memories of the entry into my trance began to come clear. I was standing in front of the hypnotist taking pictures of unconscious onlookers being trapped in a daze. As Tony counted the group down, “Deeper and deeper, way down now into a deep… deep…. sleep,” I began to yawn, my eyes became heavy, and while I was supposed to be working, I was standing swaying with my camera in my hands. My boss was able to take my camera from around my neck before I fell over, even though I was carefully guided by Tony himself.
I raced a car last night, I also had my hands down my pants, and had a guest co-host Stephen Sills spray whipping cream into my ass crack. Thanks.
Whether or not you believe in hypnotism or not, seeing coworkers and peers dry hump each other while screaming about losing their genitals in the bathroom is worth $5 and two and a half hours of your time.
James Rubec is a Sheridan photographer and journalist