Our Way of Saying: “Happy Prank Day”

TRAVIS’ Personal Question: “What’s your best prank story?”

As today is what we call April Fool’s, we were in the mood for a good prank. We all enjoy a good laugh as long as the joke isn’t on us and as long as we’re not watching Punk’d. Like who watches that show, anyway? Here’s us asking strangers about their best prank stories – as both pranker and prankee. 

Click to View the Print Version. A version of this article originally appeared in TRAVIS' Showcase Issue in March.

Click to View the Print Version. A version of this article originally appeared in TRAVIS' Showcase Issue in March.

 

I WORK WITH a guy named Frank. At 27, Frank is young, handsome and in charge of his own destiny. Frank believes that in order to get where you’re going, you need to first understand where you’ve been. So he talks about himself a lot. He has led quite the interesting life. One day I decided to ask him a personal question.

            It went: Hey, Frank. What’s your best prank story?

            He went: “Oh Jesus, Darren have I got a good one for ya! I was hanging with my buddies (expletive deleted,) when we got the (expletive deleted.) We ordered a pizza to this girl’s house – we called her ducky on account of she looked like a duck. Me and my three buddies went and waited for the pizza outside. The pizza guy drove up, got out and met us at the end of the driveway. I pushed him over and my buddies grabbed the pizza. We ran like crazy and got back to my buddies house. It was awesome.

I went: You’re an idiot.

story by darrensavage

I ASKED MY brother the personal question. He answered thus:

            “When I was in university, I had a prank war with another girl down the hall. It got intense when we started packing her room full of confetti we bought in bulk from supply stores. Then she ended it. I came home to find my pajama’s neatly folded on a fully made bed. There was a note on top that read something like ‘This has gone on long enough. I’m sorry.’ Then I put the note down and went to move my pajamas and noticed they were stapled to my bed. Then I realized she had stapled my comforter to my sheets, my sheets to my mattress cover etc… all in layers! I didn’t do anything after that.”

story by scottmcmanus

I WAS AT the bar ordering a drink and asked the guy next to me: “What is your best prank story?” His reply was priceless. 

            “Me and some friends were ice fishing and I had to take a pee. I unzipped my snow pants and pulled them down. Half way through, my buddy came up from behind me and pulled my pants down, stepped on them and pushed me from behind. My exposed crotch and bare legs landed in the pee snow. As I am rolling around, freezing, they were laughing and taking pictures. I didn’t find it funny until I saw the pictures.”

story by jonkennedy 

BASICALLY, because we live in the same building, and had extra creative time on our hands, we’d occasionally prank each other’s doorway. It started out simple by coating the doorway with Halloween cobweb crap or masking tape. Then it was condoms filled with pudding and lube on door handles. (That’s always a good one.) It graduated to leaving shitty pieces of furniture coated in spray paint or clever, yet offensive Photoshop posters hung on the door.

            The finale prank was easily the best. We coated the doorway with craft paper and sealed all the edges except for the top of the doorway. We then filled the three-inch gap between the door and the doorframe with the insides of a beanbag chair. So when they opened the door, their entrance way flooded with tiny beanbag beans. Brilliant.

story by darrylgraham

LOCATION: Classroom

Time: A Thursday afternoon

            Our instructor has called a 15-minute break. The loner kid in the class – the kind who sneezes and no one says bless you – is quietly sitting alone at a puddle table on their laptop. I approach engaging in the following conversation.

            Me: What is your best prank story?

            Loner: My best prank story? I don’t think I have a prank story let alone a best one.

            Me: Come on, you’ve gotta have a prank story.

            Loner: Well, last month we threw a surprise party for my grandma’s 80th birthday. Does that count as a prank?

            Me: Dude… no.

            Loner: Oh… why not?

            Me: Well that’s kind of cute and all, but incredibly lame as a prank story. I was hoping to hear something more, you know, edgy.

            Loner: (With a big smile) How about the time I put my brother’s toothbrush in my butt crack when we were on spring break in Cancun?

            Me: (Laughing) I like it, but that’s still too PG-13.

            Loner: I guess I don’t have a very exciting life then.

            Me: Hang in there, maverick.

story by ryanedgar

I WAS TOO tired. The sky was grey, and the colour of the bags under my eyes matched. Not in the mood to ask anyone a question, whether it be personal or impersonal.  But we get what we want by doing what we loathe doing. This is what the teachers in grade school said, anyway.

            An unspectacular teenager walks by me while I smoke on the bench. She’s dressed fashionably. Looks like a prankster. The type to slip her passed-out-drunk-friends hand into a cup of warm water. Too indolent to get up, I yell at her while remaining seated. I’m older so I can do such things without any repercussions.

            I shout out, “Yo, you.” When I’m tired, I speak in commonplace slang. She turns around. (They always turn around.) A large part of my dark heart hoped she would respond to me with his back turned.

            She reaches into her pocket and produces a lighter. I tell her I don’t need a lighter. I need to know in detail about her most outlandish prank. She shoots me that generic, “What the hell is this maniac saying?” look. I explain the question.

            “ I don’t know.” Then she ran.

            Really, the joke was on me. Sitting outside in deathly temperatures bothering girls 10 years my junior. This is what I have to anticipate from here on in.

story by nilsblondon

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