Jumper Cables

I woke up pretty early this morning, ate a big breakfast and decided that homework just wasn’t an option. I’m a lowlife student, remember? Shouldn’t I be able to be lazy? This college life won’t last much longer.

Sitting at my desk Dyl texts me and asks if I can come jump his car. Neither of us really know how to do this, and we both don’t know much about cars. We are music kids, give us a break.

I decide to venture out, I go pick him up at the Superstore. We swing by the local Canadian Tire to pick up some cables and discuss our plan of action.

He’s confident that he knows what he is doing, so I trust him enough. He is going to do the dirty work, I’m going to watch.

Back at the Superstore now, I park my car next to his and we both pop our hoods. Both our cars are off and he starts hooking the batteries up.

Sparks start to fly as he puts the first cable onto the battery. Not a good sign. Then he hooks up the other three sides to the batteries.

“You sure you know how to do this?” I ask him.

“Yeah man, I got this.”

I don’t know how to do this, but I’ve seen it done a bunch of times and I know some-what how things should go. I know one end is supposed to be grounded out, Dyl hasn’t done this. I mention it, but he assures me he knows what is going on.

“Ok man start your car.”

I hope into O’Mally, and turn the ignition.

“Man,” he says. “What?” I ask.

“Turn it off.”

“Why what’s wrong?” I ask him. I’m sitting in my car, looking at him through my windshield.

“Just turn it off!”

“What do you mean?” I ask again. “Just do it man! Dude!”

I turn off O’Mally, and look at what’s happened. Smoke is rising from both batteries and he’s got the ‘oh shit’ look on his face.

“Shit,” I say.

Dyl very  cautiously removes the cables from the batteries. And the cables start to melt apart in his hands. They are crazy hot and all the black plastic is dripping to the ground.

“Yeah, that wasn’t a good idea,” I say.

“Yeah, good thing I didn’t fuck up my car, I mean your car.”

And that was my Tuesday morning.

Want to learn how to jump a car? Watch.

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