Nonna Next Door: Grocery Shopping

Nonna has this thing for shopping.

She is the ultimate consumer, but is completely unpredictable with her buying patterns.

They day before Christmas Eve, Dre and I went to the store to pick up some things for Christmas dinner. I was walking with Nonna through the aisles until we reached the egg section.

She picked up a dozen eggs, then another, then a third dozen.

“Nonna, that’s a lot of eggs.”

“It’s okay.”

“What do you mean it’s ok? Three cartons of eggs?”

“Yes yes,” she said.

Nonna uses these little phrases to ignore people questioning her antics. “Nonna, where is the war? Is there a war coming? Are we saving for the panic room?” They boy stocking the shelves chuckles as I harass her in public.

I take the extra two cartons of eggs and place them back on the shelf. She does things like this all the time. The week before this it was fruit. We had so much damn fruit that my Mom made a giant fruit salad just to use up the fruit. The week before that it was cold-cuts. They were forcing sandwiches on me every minute of the day.

I love food, but I already eat much more than the average Joe. I can’t handle this pressure from everyone.

This morning I walked into the kitchen and she was doing her thing, pacing around, washing dishes, cleaning obsessively.

I open up a bag of bread to make some toast. “You want?” she asks me. She looks over at a giant omelette with zucchini, coated in cheddar cheese.

She obviously made it for me to eat, and now I’ve been finangled into eating it. I eat it, it was delicious, but now I am stuffed.

I open up the fridge to to get a glass of milk, and there, next to the milk, are four bricks of cheddar cheese. This week it’s cheese. This explains the cheesy omelette.

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