Nonna Next Door: Buddy

“Bahdy Bahdy Bahdy, Bahdy Bahdy Bahdy,” Nonna says to Buddy, the Burton residence dog.

My dog is so bloody cute it’s scary. He’s white, he looks like a puppy, and when you talk to him his head cocks to the side like he’s trying to understand you.

Nonna was introduced to Buddy a while ago, but their relationship has grown much stronger in the last four months. She didn’t like him much, she was afraid of the little guy. I don’t know how one could be afraid of Buddy, hell is name is Buddy. He’s the most friendly dog you could ever meet.

Nonna loves this damn dog so much. She covers him up with blankets every morning, and Buddy looks back at her with those big, buldging, loving brown eyes. It’s love in it’s most simple form.

They have been spending a lot of time together, and from my understanding they’ve been getting along famously. While for the rest of my family, well, we aren’t as cute as Buddy.

My theory, is that Nonnna hates us for several reasons. First being the fact that she wants to control our every move. The second reason being that I play too many video games.

But Buddy, Buddy doesn’t know the difference between a normal Nonna, and fucking crazy Nonna. Buddy will let Nonna do anything to him, anything at all. She could wrap him up like a swaddling baby and the little bastard would love every minute of it. She could curl his hair and give him pony-tails, he would still be fine with it.

“Excuse a me if I offend,” Nonna opens up with. This is the line right here. When I hear this, I’m either going to walk out of the room in two minutes or I’m going to be really pissed off for the rest of the day.

She had just finished talking to Buddy like a baby, and now she is on the prowl.

“On the television, they say what make you a happy. They say, if you like a cafe, if you smoke a cigarette, that make you a feel good. But the one ting that make everyone a happy, is if you a make you bed.”

She’s speaking slowly, with the passion of a fresh off the boat Italian.

Nona is wearing those whole slippers that you can buy at the dollar store, she’s smiling and her eyebrows are raised. This is the face she puts on when she lectures either myself or Dre.

“Oh yeah Nonna? Is that what the TV said?” I ask.

“Yes! Yes! That is what they say!”

I figured her out. I didn’t make my bed, and  if she insists the TV said something, I will follow what it says. Because clearly, by her own power, she hasn’t been able to control me.

“Nonnna I think you made this up.”

She makes up stories all the time. “No, I no make it up,” she insists.

Yeah ok.

Silly Nonna, I’m onto your tricks. She gives up and walks into the kitchen, where Buddy is covered in towels. It apparently keeps him warm, and he likes it.

“Baaahdy, Baaahhdy. I love you Baahdy.”

Glad your getting along with someone Nonna!

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