I am Not a Lock

Well, this... says it all?

There are a lot of double standards when it comes to women and sex. If a lady enjoys and partakes in sex, then she is dubbed a slut, but if she abstains then she is labeled as a prude. Men, on the other hand, are encouraged to “spread their seed” and make the best of their young virile bodies while they last. While words like “man-whore” are slowly becoming part of pop culture, men are typically not looked down upon as women are for promiscuous behaviour, but more looked at as figures of comedy (I’m lookin’ at you, Tucker Max).

I know, I know, I’m not telling you anything you haven’t already heard. This double standard has been around for as long as people have been having sex, I’m sure. I’ve heard a new take on this phenomenon lately – one that came in the form of a rather offensive analogy: “A lock that works for many keys is not a good lock. But a key that opens many locks is a very good key”. So basically what this is saying is that men are heroes for unlocking women with their penile keys and women are all the worse for being “opened” by said keys.

Well, analogy-makers, I am not a lock. And what’s with the men having all the power here? Wielding the key to the mysterious vagina, becoming more and more powerful with the amount of locks it can conquer? It’s such crap, it really is.

Evolutionarily speaking, women were not encouraged to experience different sexual partners because the men who had hopes of marrying these

women wanted their future brides to be virginal and pure. Other reasoning for this was that men (fairly) wanted to be sure that their future wives weren’t carrying the offspring of another male or weren’t infected by any kind of sexually transmitted disease.

I’ve spoken about this double standard before (www.collegecandy.com/relationships/why-numbers-don’t-matter) and the reason why this lock/key analogy is now void is simple : we have evolved. We now have preventative measures that protect us (both men and women) against unwanted pregnancy and STIs.

We live in a forward-thinking world that should, by now, accept sexuality as part of a healthy lifestyle. People have sex, and more often than not

people go through lives having more than one sexual partner. We are not locks or keys, or any other inanimate object on which someone chooses to base a bad analogy.

We are humans, and with our humanity comes a complicated combination of hormones and chemicals rushing through our veins that lead us to make the sexual decisions that we do. It’s not as black and white as the lock/key scenario, it’s not as black and white as the Madonna/whore complex, and it’s certainly not as black and white as a man’s masculinity being based on their number of sexual parners.

– Ness Fraser

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