I Love You, Man…. but I don’t Love The Man

I wanted to watch I Love You, Man tonight.  I did.  It’s a good movie, and I was in the mood for it.

One time I downloaded it illegally and I got in trouble with my parents because the cable company got in trouble with the makers of the film because someone was downloading it illegally.  I learned my lesson: don’t try to download I Love You, Man off a file-sharing program.

I’m a reformed man.  Tonight I went to two video stores to acquire the film.  Neither of them had it.  I came home and checked my options.  I could rent it for about $6.99 from the very cable company that gave me a slap on the wrist before.  A fair option, I get to rent it for 24 hours which is more than enough time.  I could buy it off iTunes for $14.99, that’s a less-appealing option, as the third option is I could just download it and watch it for free.  Or I could try to find it streaming somewhere (but I admit my Megavideo account is just about through my 72 minutes today, Californication is just such a good show).

So what am I to do?  Pay the 14.99 for a movie I will only have a digital copy of?  I paid 12 bucks to see it in the theater, and then another 7 to rent it another time.  I paid 19 bucks to see that movie twice, it’s a good movie, but and I going to pay over 3o to have watched it 4 times, and once illegally?  Can’t the film company just do us a favour and hand us a physical copy of the movie when we go to see it in theaters?  Film’s gross in the millions… the hundreds of millions, I know lots of people get paid, but there are some people who no longer need to get paid.  They make that much money.

Let’s reason this out.  How many films a year do the big leagues produce?  And how many people work on them?  And what do the top billed celebrities earn?  As much as a face might sell a movie, I rarely see a movie because an actor is in it.  I wouldn’t read a book because Curious George is in it.  Curious George is cool and all, but he’s not selling that book to me, Curious George going somewhere cool does.  It’s the story that is really selling me.  Maybe the production quality.

The point is, when you pay an actor ten-million dollars to be in a movie, you can’t complain when your audience pays to see it in theaters, rents it, maybe buys a few copies, and then some people want to watch it again for free online.  The rental system and is all about selling the same product over and over and over to profit off it.  I get that a lot of work went into it but a lot of work went into me getting an education.  I’ll have to charge like the entertainment industry, if you read this, you’re going to have to chip in every time you’d like to read this.  And my Travis staff was there to support me, so you’ll need to pitch for that too.  Don’t forget, someone designed the website.  And I have to pay to use the internet.  Plus every time I’ve seen a movie, read a book, or done anything that cost money, it’s contributed to my ability as a writer.  This is already getting expensive.  If you’d like to purchase a hardcopy you can for $29.99 per post, but you can’t show it to your friends, they’ll need to pay to read it as well.  But otherwise you can read it for this 24-hour period for $6.99.  And if I catch you reading it illegally, well, I’ll have to do something about that, won’t I?

This is all getting a little fantastic, but why don’t we ever question why the theatre charges us 7 dollars for a Coke.  It is gigantic, but 7 dollars, really?  That’s why I like the Oakville Mews, it’s pricing is more understandable.  It must make some money, but it’s not trying to gouge the audience too hard.  For the prices paid, and the amount of money made by the Tom Cruises and the Salma Hayeks, maybe watching a movie on the internet that we paid to see in theatres and then rented should be overlooked.  Maybe this should be combated by not paying them in the millions to say a few lines.  Maybe we shouldn’t be a society that pays for beauty.

In a perfect world, maybe not,

Bryan

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