Michael Burton’s Purple Car

By Matt Main

Here’s a story for all those people that have been crammed into the backseat of a car trying to get from point A to B. If you don’t know, Michael Burton has a purple car (he actually does) that is pretty nice. It is also the only car with a Goomba in the back window. Problem is, it seats five and there are six of us.

When I read the constant emails from Michael saying, “we will provide rides there and back” and “there may be some loving,” I didn’t think he literally meant it. Michael is in the driver seat (lucky) and Richard rides shotgun (also lucky), which leaves a bunch of journalism students to figure out we can all fit in. I take the right seat, Cassidy to the left who’s using my body as a mattress and pretty much sitting on Sarah while Mike gets his legroom.

We take off down McLaughlin Rd. for about a good seven minutes until we realize we went left instead of right. This extends this backseat sandwich ride until we are pretty much playing Twister in a car. Cassidy is almost sitting sideways, Sarah is squished, Mike seemed relaxed and my arm is asleep since it is wedged in-between Cassidy and I. Eventually she ended up sitting on Sarah so my arm and legs would have room and other known parts would stop changing colours.

Besides that, we all talked about different things like school and who has directions to get back to Oakville. Cassidy and I just tried to find and point at “rich people” houses, we draw on the foggy window and she tried to teach me some Japanese but I just couldn’t. Could this be the start of something beautifu? My guess is probably no but you never know in the back of Michael Burtons purple car.

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