Christmas Is Fucking Over, And Nona Is Still Chillin’

Finally!

I mean, I’m not trying to be a Grinch or anything, but damn that was a lot of effort. The slippers for Nona, the early morning Christmas wake up – it was just a little too much for me. I’ve been running around like a headless chicken visiting family and exchanging gifts that I just want to pass out.

I decided to not go boxing day shopping this year. It’s a funny process this Canadian culture has adapted. Spend a bunch of money prior to Christmas, and then spend even more on one single day after that. Instead,  I went to breakfast with Victoria at a place called “The Pancake Factory.” If you’re wondering, yes they serve pancakes.

It’s usually packed with people from the village of Norval, and the locals from Georgetown. They load you up with three giant pancakes covered in chocolate and strawberries, and they bring in the masses. But yesterday, hardly anyone was there. Where did everyone go?

Well everyone was lined up at Best Buy’s across Ontario. Not just any old line up – we’re talking like 3 A.M. line ups. The kind of line ups that people bring flasks to, and drink their troubles away. As the doors bust open at six in the morning, the liquored up patrons begin to shout and curse at the 17 year olds working for minimum wage.

What a world we live in. Nona puts it as “what a life!”

As for people who do care about Nona, she is doing just fine. Maybe even a little too fine. We get in big arguments because she goes into my room for no reason. She snoops, and she uses the veil of being a little old lady to cover up her snoopyness. I’m not hiding anything of serious importance in my room, but if Nona is going through every nook and cranny of my room, it makes me uncomfortable.

Pretty sure she tactically inserted a Bible in my room the other day. Usually that would start a shouting match, but I was in the Christmas spirit and decided not to give her hell.

Now it’s time to get back to work and get thing going again in this whole journalism career thinger. Nona’s Christmas card is sitting next to me. Her full name is spelt out in her hand writing, just in case I didn’t know who it was coming from. She also Scotch taped a picture of Santa on the inside, don’t know why she did that either.

Either way, Merry Christmas everyone. I’ll be on my laptop more than ever!

Michael Burton

 

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