Etiquette

Being a gentleman isn’t a part-time job. It’s a way of life and a craft. There are certain rules and with said rules there is room for bending and updating them to keep modern. I feel that there’s a misconception that being a gentleman is something that men often perceive as a way to act around women. While there are a lot of rules aimed towards how to treat a woman, the basis of being a gentleman lies in being genuine. One isn’t a gentleman for gain, it’s not about convincing women to go home with you, its about confidence and coolness. We can always look at how older men act when we’d like guidance on gentlemanly behavior. There’s a scene in Goldfinger that always makes me laugh, Sean Connery slaps a woman’s behind and tells her, “run along now, man talk.” That might’ve been fine in the sixties, but as much as Bond is the portrait of a gentleman, what was gentlemanly behaviour fifty years ago might not be in modern day. Regardless, I get hung up on the notion of being a gentleman. I’d like to be one, who doesn’t want people to think they’re as suave as James Bond. I don’t want to do it in a hokey or fake way and thus it becomes a process of great deliberation. In each situation I realize there are things I wish I knew what the proper protocol was. One can only pick up so much from every day experience. I know which silverware to use when. I mind my P’s and Q’s but there are little nuances that lead me to dig deeper and get to the bottom. As a disclaimer, I’m no expert. I’m a man who has thought long and deep on such matters and done a minimum of research to solve these riddles of chivalry. Perhaps I’ve taken bad advice, but I have talked with experts, I’ve done my reading, and most importantly I’ve discussed it with the women in my life to whom have had the pleasure of such company.

– Bryan

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